BREAKING NEWS: IF YOU EAT LOTS OF NUTELLA YOU WILL BECOME A FAT CHOD

A Nutella advert on UK TV has been withdrawn after complaints it made its terminally sugary choco-gack loveliness sound healthier than rice cakes. Embarrassing details after the jump.
The ad ran: "Surprisingly, each jar contains 52 hazelnuts, the equivalent of a glass of skimmed milk and some cocoa." Not so surprising, really, but worded in such a way as to make you think that maybe you'd had Nutella wrong all these years. But since eating 52 hazelnuts, a glass of skimmed milk and 'some' cocoa is not actually, you know, a healthy thing to do, 53 people complained and the ad was withdrawn.

Which? got involved too. Their health and food campaigner Miranda Watson said: "We think it is highly irresponsible of Nutella to imply that their spread is healthier than it actually is, especially as the ad clearly encourages parents to give it to their children for breakfast."

Only 53 people, though! Imagine what ads we could get banned if we try! If we start writing letters, Coco the Coco Pops monkey-twat could be off our screens in no time. STOP PATRONISING US, COCO, YOU FURRY CRANKSHAFT. Coco is currently persuading parents to feed their kids Coco Pops when they get home from school, thus inventing an entirely new meal between lunch and dinner. Let's call it... Scamch.

Bonus facticle: in the US, you pronounced it New-tella; in the UK, you pronounce it Nut-ella. Let's call the whole thing off.